Breaking Up Is Hard To Do....

I'm not a great "ender." I am sentimental and when I love, I love! I get attached to "things." Emotionally attached. I know everyone (including my kiddos) give all their stuffed animals names and have to make sure they are all in bed at night so no one gets their feelings hurt. But, for those of you who have read my entries for the past 10 months, you know "sometimes" I go over the edge. Remember when I shared sometimes in the grocery store I just have to pick the homeliest lettuce and buy it because I don't want it to feel bad it is never chosen? I know that is over the edge but don't you think because I KNOW it, that I'm not too loony? 

So, 2007 is coming to a close. It is always emotional for me. Maybe it is because I'm plum worn out from the holidays (plum?) (which I am) but I sense another door closing. When you are little, time crawls. At my age I feel like it is exploding! I hardly get used to writing the correct year on my checks and it is time to change. Maybe it helps (or hinders) because we are moving out of the "check writing" age. 

Today I am saying good-bye to an old friend. She's not someone I flash around a lot (never) but she is the nearest and dearest to me. Without her I would fall apart. She is what keeps me normal (I use that term loosely) and slightly together and I owe her a lot! Here is what she looks like-

From the outside, she looks a little fru-fru. She's giggling and childlike. She looks like she would rather go out to lunch with girlfriends than fold her socks. She looks like she could read a book while dishes lounge in the sink. But looks are deceiving. She is a work horse inside.

I honestly can't function without her! Some might call her a calendar or day planner, but I call her my brain. I LOVE her! I can't live without her! And now she's saying it is time to retire! David's secretary of 20 plus years retired about 2 years ago and I've SEEN chaos! Each year when I get a....oh, I hate to say the word "calendar"....maybe I'll just say, "Each year when I get a new friend with amazing secretarial skills....", I resolve that I will only write in her with a black fine-point sharpie. I will use a ruler so that my penmanship looks exceptional. My great-great-greats will think I'm classic. I'm organized. I'm a perfectionist.

Then reality hits. Someday, my great-great-greats will find her (because "she" is a FRIEND, she'll never get thrown away!) and look inside and be horrified. "What's all this scrawling and smearing and stuff crossed-out and all this clutter? And is that salsa smeared across one page? A cherry chocolate?" They may be thinking that great-great-great grandma had a screw loose. That she was a mess. That she was a scatterbrain, a smearer, a doodler and, yes, (leaping lizards!) -a food dribbler. And they'd be right.

Calendar girl, I love you (each and every day of the year...think Neil Sedaka....)

I'm going to miss you so much. I went shopping for your little sister. I couldn't find her. This is what I found.

I'm a little scared of her. She looks intimidating. She looks like she doesn't know how to laugh. She reminds me of a nanny with attitude. She looks like she could bark commands in German. She looks like she might like to rap me on the knuckles. And say things like "Don't slouch!!!"

I'll try to sit up taller this year. I'll try really hard not to write and dribble my food. I will even resolve to write with only a black fine-tip sharpie. But you and I know it will never last.

Happy Birthday, Parker!!!

Nine years ago, during the month of Oct., for Brandi’s birthday, I decided to take her to Fetal Foto, a fairly new company that did ultrasound of your unborn baby. It is fairly common now but it was kind of a new thing then. It was on a Friday and Brandi and Ryan actually lived with us then and were having a big Halloween party at our home that night. It was just two months before Parker was born and we were so excited to get a sneak preview and fun little video of the baby.

As the technician was doing the ultra-sound, she got quiet, then asked Brandi if she were going to have another ultra-sound before the baby arrived. Brandi said no since the first one looked okay. The Tech was sort of quiet for a moment and then suggested that Brandi call her Dr. since she saw some "shadows" on the baby's face that didn't look right. Talk about bursting the bubble! We had a long weekend before she could get a hold of the Dr. on Monday morning.

When we found out Parker would be born with birth defects (cleft lip and actually no roof in his mouth) we mourned for a time. We got online and saw pictures that scared the whoop-t-doo out of us, then, we picked ourselves up, followed Brandi's lead, became educated, then anxiously awaited the birth of our first grandchild! When Parker was born, it was just cause for celebration! Yes, he looked different from other babies but a lot of it was because he was born with this huge grin on his face! Just the happiest baby in the world. Brandi was an Achievement Day Leader in the Ward and anxiously shared him with all the girls and Primary children, explaining that his mouth had an owie that would be fixed. He was adored by all.

I remember taking him places in the car when he was about 6 months old and I would turn back to him in his car seat and say, "Parker, shut your eyes and go to sleep" and he would! He was always grinning and he was adored by all his uncles, then aunts. I always say to him, "You’re the one that made me a grandma!" and he beams. And he is the one that, on his own, came up with the names of all the grandparents. We are "On the Mountain Grandma and Grandpa." There is also Tractor Grandma and Grandpa, Basketball Grandma and Grandpa, The Grandpa that Made Me The Belt, among other names. It really was funny to hear him say, "On the Mountain Grandma, could I have some chocolate milk?"

When Parker was about two weeks old, I was holding him sleeping on my chest. I held the phone in one hand and it started to ring. The ring was loud and obnoxious....and Parker didn’t even flinch. I held the phone right up to his ear and still no stirring. Brandi got him into the Dr.’s as soon as possible and he flunked every hearing test. The Dr.’s said that they didn’t know if he was deaf or because of so much disorder in his ears and mouth, that fluid was the cause of his deafness. They said on his second surgery, at 9 months old, they would put tubes in his ears to see if it made a difference. Brandi had become the mother bear by that time and insisted that tubes be put in his ears at his first surgery, saying that if he were deaf, we needed to know soon. Parker had his first of many, many surgeries at 3 months. I remember going to the temple and praying for his welfare. As fate would have it, a whole group of deaf people came that day to the temple and I wondered if God was trying to tell me something. As I watched them, I realized the joy they exhibited and their exuberance for life. No parent prays for a difficult life for their child, but I also realized that parents the world over deal with much worse. I was humbled and still am, each time I go to the grocery store and have a handicapped worker help me or see someone in a wheelchair. Every parent has high hopes and dreams for their children. But Heavenly Father sees us all differently and know that we grow and stretch with challenges and his choices spirits usually have bodies that may be different. And it is our blessing to take care of them.

So.....Parker had his first surgery. And when he came to from the anesthetic, he was wired! All those noises he had never heard before! Wow! It was startling! His hearing was restored. I could write page after page of Parker experiences. He has had so many surgeries and was such a trooper with all of them. I used to say he was the bravest person I had ever met. We love him so much and hope his life is full of joy and happiness. He has brought that to us! Brandi has been called to hospitals many times to bring Parker and share with new parents some concerns that they might have in feeding and caring for these special babies. How lucky we feel to be living in an area with a children's hospital that has their own cleft team! Only Brandi has a beef with one of the surgeons. Every time he sees Parker, he exclaims how great his nose looks. Brandi kind of mutters to herself, "Yeah, it looks JUST LIKE YOURS!"


Today is Parker’s birthday. I called him last night knowing it would be "the last time I ever talked to him when he was eight!" I have loved him so much for these past 8 years and I made him promise at 9 he would even be more wonderful. He is a sports nut. Can talk sports non-stop like his daddy and most of the men in our family. He’s smart- excelling at math. He’s at an awkward stage where he just wants to play and talk sports and finding friends with the same interests isn't always easy.

This poem is one I wrote before he was born and is one of my favorites. The epigram is from an Emily Dickinson poem "Hope is a thing with feathers....." comparing hope with a bird, whose song you can hear the strongest in the heart of the storm.

The Creation
And sweetest-in the Gale-is heard-
And sore must be the storm-Emily Dickinson

My daughter’s belly
is a taut, smooth globe
that separates light from darkness,
rumbling oceans from dry earth.
It is a nautilus chamber
through which I speak love in low tones,
deep as sonar that reaches
the whales and dolphins
and fishes of the sea.

My first grandchild swims freely
inside that swollen belly,
unaware that through ultrasound,
the doctors are identifying
the problems he will have
when he casts off the first estate
of his mother’s womb.

I think of the whales
as I put my ear to the shell
of my daughter’s skin.
How a school of whales have been
known to carry one of their own
for weeks until wounds heal
and the hurt can swim on its own.

Dickinson never had a child,
a grandchild, but she knew
the strength in fragile things.
A seed. The bird’s song.
Hope, that feathered edge
that separates
light from dark.

Marilyn Darley Williams


(so some reason, my computer isn't allowing me to upload his baby pictures to share at this time. They will be added as soon as I get it figured out!

2007 in Review Meme

What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Blogged. I started a year ago Feb. Until then I thought it was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard....not the journal writing but that you would read other people’s journals when you didn't even know them.

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
One of my resolutions was to work on my personal history. I did make progress on that with my blog. And tame another portion of my yard. I did that. The only other resolutions I made were:
1-get my laundry room in order- Nada
2- get my weight under control- plus 5 pounds
3-read Book of Mormon completely through again. Yes!

I'm already working on a new list. I'll talk about it later.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, yes, yes! First was Noah (No-way-Jose) (Noah Joseph in Spanish) followed 8 days later by Nash Darley Williams!  Cadi’s Little Stevie Nichole was born last week (my closest niece’s first baby!)
It’s been a great year!!!

Did anyone close to you die?
No, but I’m still grieving over my friend, Sharen Smith, that died 2 years ago this month. And I've grieved over people I love grieving. Cathy lost both her parents within months of each other. Debbie Nelson lost her daughter. It all broke my heart.

What countries did you visit?
This year I visited France and Canada. Both were fabulous!!! Don’t get me going on either!!!

What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Self-control.

What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Nov. 23. Because I resolved all year to remember my hairdresser’s (old babysitter for the kids) birthday and somehow make it special for her. She doesn’t have anyone in her life to jump up and down for her. I was so worried that I would forget it until I realized that it was Cousin Casey’s birthday as well. And Nov.26. And getting a stamp in my passport. Again.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Gosh, I really can’t think of a huge accomplishment on my part. But I have certainly had one of the happiest years of my life.

What was your biggest failure?
Oh, probably this weight issue. But honestly, I am in such a good place inside that I’ve dealt with it okay. If we preach that real beauty comes from within, why do we let the world tell us that unless we are thin, we have failed? I’ve been 4 sizes three times in the past 10 years. That sounds like failure to the world but I’m a happy failure.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I’m really pretty healthy except for my foot. I have whined enough about it, the different doctors, the different diagnosis, the frustration of not getting it healthy. And it is okay. Just not tap dancing ready.

What was the best thing you bought?
I think it was last January that I got a new computer. It is my best friend. Hush! Cathy’s out of town so I don’t think she heard me say that!
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Probably David’s because he puts up with me. I’m a little wacko and he’s pretty conservative so that makes him a saint.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Most of the politicians. All the young celebrities.

Where did most of your money go?
Our (money pit) (David's dream) property.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Well, I got really, really excited about:
Noah and Nash and France and Oo-la-la and crepes and raspberry tarts and Banff and the grand hotel David and I stayed in and watching my kiddo’s growing and getting a couple of snowmen and 3 baby deer born on our property and watching them grow and the flock of cedar waxwings that entertained me for a week or so and when Greg Wilson tried to run into our ski boat with a jet ski and great times at Lake Powell with family and friends, and the mountains and snow and spring and cooking with our Creative Cooking focus group and hanging with good friends and finishing some art pieces and reading the Twilight Series and These Is My Words and a FABULOUS new book (artsy creative) my mom gave me. More details later.

What song will always remind you of 2007?
You Raise Me Up- Josh Groban
Sweet Escape and also 3 a.m. by Gwen Stephani

Compared to this time last year, are you: much happier, richer, nicer?
I’m always pretty happy. And we're not poor but I would say we’ve had big expenses this year so we have much less in the pocketbook and I always try to be nice so I don’t know if I’m nicer. I think nice is important. I’m happy, have a balance in the checkbook, feel heaped up and running over with blessings and I'm very, very nice. (I hope you are rolling your eyes and laughing.)

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Expressed appreciation to individuals personally more often. I am surrounded by so many wonderful people and I’m not sure if they all know how much I love them and am lifted by them. Especially ladies in my Ward. And in my Bucket group. And Girl’s Night Out. And, of course, my kids.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eat. Except I LOVE food. So it is a love/hate relationship....

How did you spend Christmas?
Surrounded by everyone that I love! It was the best!

Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yes, but don’t tell David. First I fell in love with Edward, a vampire. David wouldn’t understand that at all. Then I fell even harder for a soldier/wagon master named Capt. Elliot. David probably wouldn’t get that either. Actually, all the qualities I loved them for are qualities David has. So, really, I just fell in love with my husband even more.

What was your favorite TV program?
I don’t watch a lot of TV (because so much of it is so bad!) But I do watch Dancing With The Stars. I didn’t watch too much Idol this year until the end. I just don’t get the first episodes where people/judges act so stupid. It was funny the first time. Not now. I’ve watched less cooking shows this year. I used to watch a lot of t.v. I don't anymore.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone. A few years ago, I had maybe two men on a "don’t really like" list (because they were mean to their wives.) If I did REALLY not like someone, it wouldn’t last because really, if I have issues with anyone, I pray about it and try to serve them until I love them. I started that many years ago and now I usually don’t even get to the "annoyed" by people stage. I like about everyone.

What was the best book you read this year?
Do I even have to say it? "These Is My Words" for fiction. I can’t remember when I read "The Peacegiver" but it is remarkable. And the scriptures are my mainstay.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jon McLaughlin...love him. He’s the singer at the ball in "Enchanted."

What did you want and get?
What did I want and get? I’m not sure if this question is about Christmas or this year. Everyone knows I got my snowman (men) for Christmas. I wanted to be with my parents. Got that. I wanted some personal things for my kids individually and some things have come to pass. I wanted some answers to some important prayers and many were answered. Some I’m still waiting on. And that’s okay.

What was your favorite film of this year?
Enchanted. The Ultimate Gift. I haven’t seen the Dan movie yet. Went once and it was sold out. Now it is out of the theaters. That quick? Wow! Was The Holiday this year?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Heh, my birthday is next month and you expect me to remember a year ago? I usually celebrate for about two or three weeks with wonderful friends and family. January is a big party.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Gosh, I would be ungrateful to even whine. More time with David? More time with Cathy? More time with my kids, individually.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Oversized tops with 3/4 length sleeve "Shades" or "Mod Bods" or whatever those longer, fitted T’s are called, underneath. Jeans. I call my stretchy black skirt I wear to church my uniform. It goes several sizes either way.


What kept you sane?
Journal writing. Talks with Heavenly Father. Scriptures. Going out to lunch.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Like fancy in a crush? Or fancy in curious about them? Or awestruck? Hmmm....I like Dan Rascom for a newsman. I am a new fan of Marie Osmond. I had no idea she was so funny or fun. If I could spend a day on a air mattress at Lake Powell with someone famous (other than Church famous), it would be.....well, my friends. I would rather hang out with them. Brandi was on tv in the children’s parade for about 3 seconds. Does that count for famous? I fancy her....As far as movie celebrities-I just have a lot of "no likes." I don’t care for Tom Cruise, Nicholas Cage, Russell Crow, Ben Affleck (the Bennifer thing.) I like Matt Damon. He’s probably my favorite. I love Keri Russell and still haven’t seen August Rush. I like Oprah sometimes. I love Rachel Ray but never watch her ( I used to watch her before Oprah "discovered" her). I’m too old to be starstruck. I like who I hang out with already. I like my husband. Okay, I could invite Ellen to Lake Powell. We could dance on our air mattresses. She would make me laugh. And I won't mention dogs.....

What political issue stirred you the most?
Politics make my stomach churn. I hate talk radio and reading about or hearing political debate. Cathy loves all that so I will hang out with her and pretend like I’m informed. I did form some strong opinions on the two school issues this past vote. I felt strongly about both, knew they would both turn out the opposite of what I voted, but at least I studied and pondered and gave it a great deal of thought.

Who did you miss?
My folks when too much time goes by between visits. Sometimes Cathy because she has been away TOO much! I would like to just have a weekend by myself with just my brother. I adore him and never get to spend time alone with him. I miss Cali. I miss my old Stake RS presidency...I never get to see Joan and Kathyrn. I really miss them....

Who was the best new person (people) you met?
Oh boy! This has been a new year of new friends! And you know me, everyone I meet is a "best!"

My penpal in Cache Valley. Her life story is almost as good as a novel. "Sophia" was the most popular baby girl’s name this year. Yahoo! She’s pretty funny grown-up as well!

My bucket group. Half the group were made up of women that I associated with a lot anyway- Valene Cook, Kathy Wilson, Cathy Olsen, my cousin, Zella. Others I’ve had past experience with like Annette Burgess and Diana Webb. I adore them all. But I really didn’t know several of the other women before, more than an acquaintance. But Sheron Fitch, Erica Nordquist, Libby Greer, Karlan Richards and Gail Miller have enriched my life SOO much this past year! What amazing women I get to associate with each month! This group was a "gift" to me this year!

Valene’s family in France. Janet and the kids!

All my new blogging friends. Who knew??!!!


Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
That whenever I think I "get" a certain principle like "service" or "the atonement", Heavenly Father then sends me a zinger that comes with a message. I’m just in the learning stages. Humbled to the core. Each day starts all over again.

Counting

It is Friday morning and the guys are getting ready to go out for their traditional guys breakfast. They’ve already gone once but too much of a good thing is wonderful. And I’m in recovery mode. Really, how much partying can one body stand? The folks are here until tomorrow and David’s folks are here until I don’t know when. The days are spent visiting, eating See’s chocolates, Patty L.’s homemade chocolates, Almond Roca, several gifts of homemade caramels and peanut brittle and divinity.....and on and on. Each evening I go to bed feeling sluggish and wrought. Each morning I sleep a little longer...figuring that a ½ hour later in bed saves me probably about 500 calories! When all the company goes, I’m putting all the leftovers in the garbage or send them with David to work. I'm thinking (note: just thinking) about a tread mill in my future. New Year’s Eve is just around the corner and I’m already devising horrible resolutions. I’m already anxious to get my holiday decorating down and put away. I thinking normal is looking pretty good.

But, regardless, this has been the BEST holiday. I’ve loved every moment with our family! Mom and I have seen 3 movies 1) The Ultimate Gift (get it on DVD if you haven’t seen it!) 2) P.S. I Love You (mixed feelings about this one) and 3) Enchanted (LOVE IT!!!) 

We’ve played a zillion games of Phase Ten and Skip Bo plus several other games. I am the champion with Mom (but just by one game) and also David’s dad. We all get wicked when we play.

I loved all the Christmas letters and cards we received in the mail. Brandi did a cute Letter by Numbers that I want to share a part of:

22 days until Parker turns 9 (actually, his birthday is this Sunday)
100 percent of our healthcare expense account used up by the 3rd week of January (yikes!)
5 teeth lost by Kindergartner Gracie
15 words Addi finally says at 22 months
7320 miles Brandi has driven providing home health physical therapy
20 soccer goals scored by Gracie this past year
1500 pictures taken by Brandi
40 trips to the sprinkler park
20 kids each day playing on our backyard swing set
300 plus otter pops passed out to thirsty kids and neighbors
4 days of skiing at lake Powell before Ryan hurt his back (lucky for him he knows a great PT!)
3450 steps we marched in the Children’s Youth Parade downtown
10 steps Hallee took before she made mom carry her
3 seconds we were on TV
17 times in nursery for Addi
1 time she has stayed
70,000 people applied for the Pittsburgh Steeler’s Mascot
69,999 (including Ryan) who did not get the position
365 days of chaos, love, and laughter.

So, I’m thinking in numbers today- how many people I love, how many presents were given and received, how many sweet opportunities for service, how many chocolates consumed, how many games played, how many prayers said, how many fires lit, how many stories and laughter shared, how many snowflakes fallen, how many snowmen in my front yard (two!!!), how many pounds gained (at least 4), how many days to be thankful for! I'm counting my blessings....

                     This is Felix. He was a "love gift" from Tanner!

Christmas Jammies

Trying to corral 11 kiddos in their Christmas jammies is like trying to keep grasshoppers in one place. The pictures didn't come out too well because, well, moving objects are hard to focus! I finally gave up!

I love'em anyway!

Do you think there is such a thing as holiday hang-over? We have enough food on the counter (gifts and things) that we really could feed an army. And you eat a couple of See's chocolates for breakfast because they are there, staring you in the eye. And nuts and homemade chocolates and homemade peanut brittle and divinity and homemade breads and rolls and nut mixes and apple cake with butter sauce and, and, and...heavy, heavy, hangover.......

Living a gluttonous life can be exhausting!

Shepherds

Sunday in nursery, I was telling the nativity story with puppets to the children. There were 5 little children enthralled with the story. I went through the angel coming to Mary, then Mary riding a donkey to Bethlehem. I told them when they got there, there wasn't any place for them to sleep. I told them, "You be the innkeepers. When I knock on your door, tell them there is no room." With each child, I would knock and say, "Can we come in and stay with you?" Each child said yes.

And I guess that God is still asking that question. Can His child come in and stay with each of us? Oh, that we can become as little children.

THE SHEPHERD AFTER THE PLAY(Mariyn Darley Williams)
This Christmas Eve,
I found him, half asleep,
huddled in shepherd’s robe,
perched on the edge
of the window seat.
“Mom,” he whispered.
“If I had lived then,
I would have let them stay
in my room. I could have slept
on the floor. You would have fed them,
Mom, I know you would. Fixed up
a casserole like you took to Mr. Hutchings
across the street,
with some fresh bread
and jam.”

“Mom,” he continued. “I’m glad
I didn’t get Herod’s part,
even if he did get to wear
that cool armor
and I had to wear this old
bathrobe. I couldn’t have been
the Innkeeper. I would have cried.
When I saw the baby, all I wanted
to do was to tell him how much
I loved him. And you, Mom. And Dad.
Wishing so hard that Grandma
and Gramps were here to see.
Then, the lamb started pulling
me...Can you believe they had a real lamb?
Then the angels came and my part
was over. I had to move offstage.”

Quietly, with stars reflecting,
like a thousand mirrors,
the Christmas light,
I tucked one drowsy shepherd
into bed, kissed his head.
Thought of the baby,
the lamb that was real.
Felt, soft as a kiss,
the brush of angel’s wings
before they soar.
Gave thanks
for this holy place
where shepherds still sleep
with an open door.

Merry Christmas, dear great-great-greats. Know you are loved in our family. Know that we know that God lives and loves us individually.

Merry Christmas to my sweet friends and neighbors and blogger friends. Isn't this a wonderful day. Isn't this a wonderful season? May you have a peaceful feeling of God's love for you and your home!

A Jolly Happy Soul.....

David and I came home from Church today. We dropped off a few gifts on the way. Then we pulled up to our home, look who was waving from our front yard!!!! Honestly, he is HUGE!!! David pulled up front so I could hop out of the car and jump up and down and squeal! He's WONDERFUL!!! He had big red bow around his neck......And this is what the sign said:

Okay, THEN I started crying!!!! What a WONDERFUL SURPRISE!!!!! They sneaked over while we were at church and put this snowman together. It has a blower inside and when it got dark, it was all lit up as well! I LOVE HIM!!! I called Rylee to squeal thank you! I told her she needed to come up with a good name to call him. She said, "How about Frosty?" I said there are a lot of Frosty's so I wanted her to think up another really good name. Later tonight I called her at her other Grandma's while they were there for a party. I said, "Rylee, you should SEE how cool the snowman is all lit up at night!" And she said, "Grandma (as in "dummy!"), I can't see it, I'm at Grandma Jo's!" Oh, I hope the whole world sees my wonderful snowman! And thank you, Tenille, for dreaming up this really awesome surprise! I really am feeling loved! I'm sorry I'm such a whiner. I'm sorry, Brandi, you're getting chastised for not making me a snowman (when in reality you really did in October...with the first snow!!!) (and cheddar-nose was wonderful!!!)

Ah, I would tell you all about how wonderful Church was today. The music was just unbelievable....our Ward has many professional musicians but the Spirit was incredible. The Bishop's remarks about Christ were beautiful. I really want to share more about this day but I don't really want to mix this spiritual day with my snowman obsession.

I KNOW it is an obsession. I really am like an addict. I really do drive around with my camera just to take pictures of snowmen in people's yards so I can look at them all I want. The wonderful thing about snowmen is there isn't a bad one in the bunch. I don't think I've ever seen a snowman I haven't loved. Or snowgirl or snowdog or snow deer. Such a simple pleasure. Family, I'm sorry I'm such a pain about it. But Tanner, I really think this WONDERFUL snowman in my front yard (that Rylee is helping me name)....really, really, really needs a buddy. Hint. Hint.

Sorry.......sometimes I just can't help myself!!!

Hot Water About Snow (men)

Okay, no one likes a whiner. At least Brandi and her kids don't like a whining mother/grandma. You've heard me whine. You've heard me beg. You've heard me question over and over again "Where's my snowman????! Well, apparently part of my family was offended. They have decided that I have early Alzheimer's. They think I have impaired memory. They think I'm ungrateful. Could I have possibly forgotten that THEY'VE ALREADY BUILT ME A SNOWMAN THIS YEAR?????


Last night when I went to go to bed, I found a treat on my pillow. This is what it looked like:






It was a cute resin snowman tied in a cellophane bag with a picture and a poem. Here is what it said:


We let out a cheer and there was good reason

The grass newly covered, the first snow of the season



So off to grandmas went sweet little girls

To clean up the snow with their hair full of curls



They rolled up the white stuff until it was gone

it took all of the snow from grandma's front lawn



But it seems just so sad to be a snowman forgotten

With his eyes of two candies and his nose of au gratin



Wait, that nose won't do, we need something better

Let's make him a nose from a stick of some cheddar



Now that was a snowman to make someone proud

So why go on living under a spreading dark cloud



So Grandma give credit where credit is due

Twas the season's first snowman and built just for you!





Okay, I'm ashamed. But I see a metaphor in this dilemma. It is like being in Paris. There is a creperie on every corner, a pastry shop in between. You've eaten one fresh raspberry torte. Does that mean that you are satisfied for the rest of your life? Does that mean I just get ONE crepe to last me all year? It does mean that I acknowledge and THANK, THANK, THANK my precious little girls for my cheddar-nosed snowman. Really, it melted me! All that green grass and my snowman and snow puppy and snow deer with antlers. Honest, I didn't forget! Oct.22, 2007. I'll NEVER forget that day (inside joke with Brandi!)


So, Campbell family, don't pay any attention to my whining. Unless you want to. Don't pay any attention to my begging. Unless you want to. All you Williams kiddo's.....I'm still waiting. We have enough snow for a village. I would go outside and make my own but I'm old and feeble and don't have any boots.

Which reminds me of one of the funniest stories from the mouths of babes. Gracie and my mom were instant messenger-ing on the computer. Gracie was excited that Great Grandma was coming to Utah. Then Gracie said that Grandma needed to bring her boots. Grandma said she didn't have any because she outgrew hers." Gracie said, "Grandma, I'll get you some boots. I can get you some Hannah Montana boots or High School Musical boots!"


To read about my favorite snowman memories, click below. And to the poet laureate in Herriman, I thank you! It was amazing!!!


First Snowman of the Year! and Once There Was A Snowman...

Here Comes Santa Claus

Each year, the main request for my kids is a new Santa picture. And they are here to show! I love these pictures so much! Below are this year's addition. I have them from when Parker was about 2 and Joshie was a baby (and now they are almost 9 and almost 8!) Isn't that Santa great?!

This afternoon, Dad and Mom and I made two batches of mom's famous (well, famous to us- her family- and famous to her neighbors) Cracker Jack corn. It isn't sticky like caramel corn but it has the taste of cracker jack (although we don't put peanuts in it although you could.) It certainly isn't the quickest corn to make but we think it is worth the effort. It is addicting to eat. I've told you that Mom and Dad are a duet. They have this cracker jack making down to a T. Dad air pops the corn, measure the exact amount without any old maids while Mom makes the caramel sauce. Then he pours it over the big bowl of popcorn while she stirs it up. Then while Mom is baking the corn, and stirring it, Dad is washing up the dishes. I'm watching this little drama and thinking, "Who is this man?" My father never cooked while I was growing up but after I left home, he became the "breakfast" cooker. And he cleans up! My mom has had a few health issues this past year and he just dotes on her. I had Brandi's kids this afternoon and after Brandi got off work, Parker and I ran and got pizza. When we got home, we got all the kids ready to eat and asked Dad if he was ready to eat. He said, "No, your mom is still downstairs baking the cracker jack and I'll wait for her. We've eaten together so many years it would be funny eating without her." Sigh. Isn't that sweet?! I just love these people!

David drove his parents and his sister, Laraine and her husband Richard, to Idaho Falls today for David's cousin's funeral. I'm glad that they were able to go together but the roads were terrible (I think we got close to a foot of snow last night) and I'm so glad they got home safely. They were able to see lots of the family (the Idaho kids miss David's folks so much!) and even stopped in Pocatello to see our nephew, Sy and his wife, Stephanie and their new twin boys that they just brought home from the hospital today! And my niece, Cadi, that I ADORE and is Laraine's only daughter had her baby girl this morning! They are naming her Stevie Nichole (only I don't know if they are spelling Nichole that way...but I insist on writing it that way because that is Brandi's middle name and spelling...) What a happy day!!!

Mom and I shopped till we dropped this morning until mid-afternoon when the kids were coming and the list is dwindling down. I just get so happy/emotional getting to be with my mom and dad. It really is making my Christmas season!

Tanner took off for Las Vegas with Kirk and Kevin for the Fiesta Bowl. This is Tanner's 3rd time to Vegas in just a couple of months. You can tell he is a die-hard BYU fan. Their plane was delayed for quite awhile...waiting for Elder Holland! they even got to visit with him awhile which was so neat for Tanner.

Mom's Famous Cracker Jack

6 qt. popped corn, no unpopped kernels

2 cups packed brown sugar (mom prefers light)

1/2 lb. (2 cubes) butter

1/2 cup light Karo syrup

scant tsp. cream of tartar

Mix, then bring to a boil the last 4 ingredients. Do not stir during boiling. Pour over popcorn in a large bowl and mix well. Spoon onto two large buttered cookie sheets. Bake in a 225 degree oven for one hour, stirring and separating popcorn each 15 minutes. Make sure you set timers. you don't want to overcook this yummy stuff!!!

Christmas Past

I posted last week about going Christmas tree shopping with my father. And then how I used to bug them after I left home about getting their tree up. And how Dad surprised me one year by a letter. A few days ago, rummaging through picture boxes, I found the letter. 1984 (Oh Christmas Tree!!! )


Here is the picture that was inside! The silver tree, the macrame hanging table, the lime and burnt orange. That is our stereo over on the right wall. Lava lamps back in the corner.

Now I'm REALLY skipping ahead but I found these pictures too. They were taken at my parent's home in Moses Lake. All that white in the background is the lake. My dad and Brandi built this snowman. Can you BELIEVE what a fabulous snowman it is??!!!! Look, the snowman is wearing the same hat as my dad. The hat (or one similar) that my dad still wears. He got quite the looks at the airport. We don't care. We're secure.

Here's the young couple with their darling daughter. Look, Brandi and I are about the same height. Look at the handsome man's legs. That is why I married him.

Snowman, I love thee. Dad, I love thee! Handsome legs, I love thee! Christmas, I love thee!

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. Burton Hillis

Last year I had the Christmas Girl's Night Out at our house. After dinner, I had everyone fill out this questionnaire which, now, a year letter, I recognize could be a Christmas meme.

1. Did you buy a real tree this year? No, our only scent of "real" tree is a "real" wreath and a Christmas tree-scented candle. I used to think fake was sacrilegious but now it works.

2. Have you made any candy this week? No, but I'm getting ready to do some. I plan on "attempting" caramels and licorice caramels. Mom is here and she makes a mean, baked-in-the-oven cracker jack. That is what she made for all her neighbors this past week before she left.

3. If someone were going to give you a $100 gift certificate, to what store would you want it to be? Hmmm...Macys? I'm really about stored out.

4. Have you helped with a Sub For Santa this year? Several

5. Have you purchased a Christmas bulb this year? I purchased Brendalyn's leftover outside lights. They are still in a box in the garage. I still can say I've never had lights on my house....It really is too cold and icy for Tanner and his friend to climb up on top of the roof.

6. Do you think that Narcissus flowers, though pretty, smell like boy’s PE socks? I threw this one in because one year I literally crawled around the entire living room on my hands and knees sniffing. I KNEW those dirty socks were somewhere. I think Narcissus flowers are SO beautiful. They look perfect in a magazine picture. They are classic beautiful. They smell like boy's smelly PE socks!

7. Have you purchased a new Christmas CD this year?
I bought Josh Groban's Noel.

Brandi's good friend, Amy B. BOUGHT me Bare Naked Ladies since I posted that their version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" is one of my favorites! Amy, Amy, Amy, thank you! I'm going to pass on your kindness! And like I believe you got a "good deal" on it! Right!

And then I ordered 3 Glen Campbell Christmas cd's since I got nostalgic. It was what played on our "record player" when I was growing up. I got one for me, my parents and sent one to my brother.

8. Have you kissed your husband today? I haven't even seen my husband today. He left early for the gym.

9. Have you "snapped" at your husband today? No, he has that "lucky" thing to look forward to today. Just kidding, I'm not much of a snapper. Just when I get stressed. I don't just snap for fun.

10. Have you ever put a box of cereal in your children’s stockings? Of course, who else would make up this question?

11. Have YOU helped make a snowman this year (you had to touch the snowman.) No, I just sit here and whine because I don't have one. I know one is coming. I know it. But it's still not here. My dad's here. Maybe he'll make a snowman for me.

12. Do you have turkey or ham for Christmas dinner or neither? We usually have turkey. But this year, as I mentioned, we are having prime rib. the dinner menu isn't set in gold like the breakfast menu.

13. Do you open any presents as a family on Christmas Eve? Just the kiddo's Christmas jammies.

14. What dish HAS to be served for Christmas breakfast? Sausage strata. Blueberry muffins come in a nice second.

15. What Christmas song are you sick and tired of? Hmmm.....you know me. I'm a Christmas carol crazy. I haven't heard a single one I'm sick of. I wake up in the morning with carols ringing through my head. I'm not a big fan of Twelve Days of Christmas (sorry Dahlquists) but I don't think I've even heard it on the radio this year.

16. Have you purchased a new Christmas book for your family this year? No, but one of my nieces gave me a darling Christmas pop-up book.

17. Do you like eggnog? Love it, love it! But I can't drink too much or I get a tummy ache.

18. Have you stood in a line to see Santa this year? No, but I sleep with him most nights. Oh, that wasn't appropriate! Sorry. I did "see" a santa this year. I'm still trying to get over it. We were in a small mall in France and they had a photo/Santa place set up. This was in the middle of the day but the Santa Claus sitting there was skinny AND a lady! It was totally disturbing! I'm still having nightmares!

19. Which one of these hymns was written by an LDS composer:
1. Angels We Have Heard On High
2. Far, Far Away on Judea’s Plains
3. With Wondering Awe
I'm the one that made up these questions and I can't even remember. I would guess that it is No. 3 but I'm too lazy to go to the piano and look it up.

20. Have you received an unexpected gift this year?

Yes, Sharen F.'s sweet gift. I love them and have used them already! (and I'm not telling what it is in case I want to use the idea next year!!!) It was a sweet surprise on my doorstep.

And Valene's gift. The gift wasn't not expected (double negative, sorry) but it was overwhelming. She gave me a large box with all the nativity costumes in it. It is an "add-to" box! Can you believe that! We laughed because she gave it to me THE DAY AFTER WE DID THE NATIVITY! Well, I gnashed and pulled out my hair! If I would have had HER costumes, Gracie's costume wouldn't have fallen apart because her attention deficit Grandma threw it together! Oh well, next year our pageant is going Hollywood!

Well, that's enough questions for today. My parents and David's parents both got here yesterday. I can hear people stirring and showering and I need to stir and shower myself. A big to-do list today to accomplish. Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming!!!!!

Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.- Harlan Miller

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed

The storm is coming! The storm is coming! So are my parents! I'm so excited! All day as I've run errands and crossed things off lists and visited with people that I love, I've been a little teary. It is part of the excitement. I'm feeling almost on top of things although I still have many things to do. 

Today I was going through my inbox and cleaning out old emails and found this one that Brandi sent to me last year. It made me laugh.

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

(and I did notice how the attention deficit person was also distracted by chocolate and France. I would call that type casting...)

Christmas Memories

• Christmas was magical at our house growing up. Since there were just my brother and I, we were spoiled. I remember the living room half filled with gifts. Of course, I look back now and realize our living room wasn't that big!
• Our stockings always had an orange in the bottom and lots of ribbon candy and sugared orange slice candy. We always had a paddle ball (those wooden paddles with an elastic string and ball on the end) and bubbles.
• One Christmas our parents finally relented and we opened our presents on Christmas Eve. We never asked to do that again!
• Dinner was always on Christmas day- turkey and all the trimmings. Pretty much a repeat of Thanksgiving. The best meal ever.
• If it snowed, we were in heaven. Dad would tie a long rope to a sled and pull it behind the car. We lived in a neighborhood out in the country and had lots of roads to terrorize. The fear added to the excitement- what if the car stopped and we would crash into it? Lose our heads? Yeow! But my dad was a great driver and it was always fun.
• Our little housing area was called Millerville. It was a working ranch but the owners built about 10 houses and 6 or 8 apartments out on their ranch to accommodate housing for Larsen Air force base that had a shortage. There was a pretty good-sized creek that ran in the back of the houses where my brother loved to fish, which also created some really nice ice skating ponds. My first skates had double runners. I was "hot" when I graduated to single blades. The whole neighborhood would turn out for ice skating at night. A fire would be built by the side of the frozen pond in an old tire. I can't believe what a environmental hazard that would have been. But ice skating and the camaraderie around the campfire was one of my favorite memories.
• One Kodak memory was coming home from school, before Mom went back to work, and she had made homemade ribbon candy and also homemade butter mints and tossed them in a big bowl of powdered sugar. Yesterday I bought a box of ribbon candy just for nostalgia's sake.
• When our children were little, oftentimes they would get a pomegranate in the bottom of their stocking or an orange. My best friend always got a pomegranate in her stocking so I thought that was cool. My kids could care less about pomegranates. They also always got a mini box of cereal for their breakfast.
• We have some classic, funny home movies of Christmas mornings. The boys would open a box with Sunday clothes in them and they were instantly chucked. Why did I ever think they'd be excited about Sunday clothes? Ryan loved Smurfs, Travis had to have sports equipment and Brandi was into unicorns, Pegasus and gaiters (I don't even know how to spell those...you know, the horse with wings and a horn?) As a mom, it was important that I knew the difference.
• One movie shows when Travis had opened all his presents and you could almost feel the disappointment. His longed- for -bicycle was hiding in a bedroom. He went ballistic when he found it!
• My variety of hairstyles in the Christmas videos are hysterical.
• What I used to think of as "fat" looks pretty darn good right now!
• Our favorite thing to do as a family was to "pixie" families. Our Ward really got into it, drawing names. We even had a couple of broken legs in the Ward from people ringing doorbells and trying to get away without being caught.
• One of my favorite memories was pixieing our new neighbors across the street. They were from Michigan and their kids were older than ours and weren't of our faith....we weren't close to them yet. We called one night and said in a muffled voice that there were treats in their mailbox. You could tell they were suspicious. We had turned out our lights and were peeking through the blinds to see what happened. The teenage girl walked nonchalantly out to the mailbox. But when she looked inside and found their treats, she started jumping up and down squealing. It was just so fun. Christmas brings out the little kids in all of us.
• Mr and Mrs. Santa Claus used to surprise us and show up unannounced. We LOVED Mr and Mrs Santa. Who would know that Brandi would grow up and marry their son? So would that make Brandi, Brandi Claus? Catchie.....
• We learned very early that Sub For Santa's can be frustrating....but we do them anyway. Just because people sometimes milk the system, doesn't mean that we stop giving. I remember when the kids were young and making real sacrifices to do a nice Sub-For-Santa, and delivering it with Brandi and finding they had more "stuff" than we did. And that they were flying back East to be with family. It was a hiccup in our learning, but not enough to destroy our intentions.
• Our family's favorite tradition is our Snickie-Snack dinner on Christmas Eve. We always have cheese fondue with lots of breads and veggies. Then we eat all the food gifts that have been delivered to us. Lots of sausage logs and cheese sticks.
• Who likes fruitcake? We were given one once. I think we used it as a doorstop. Or it became a traveling gift like zucchini.
• One of our neighbors gives us a new broom each year. Another always delivers a box of wonderful oranges. Another always brought a bottle of sparkling cider. And of course the Wilson's always come caroling and bring us Dutch cookies. We love them (both the Wilson's and the cookies!)
• Christmas breakfast for the last probably 15 years has been sausage strata and blueberry muffins. We have a big dinner as well. I know some people don't like all that cooking but honestly, I LOVE it! This year we are having prime rib.
• As much as I love cooking, I'm not a good candy maker. I've never made caramels that really turn out well but I'm game to try again. I love licorice caramels so we're going to try that too. I do love eggnog, hot chocolate and wassail. And anything pumpkin.
• Santa wraps presents here. At Cathy's home and Elaine's home, Santa leaves unwrapped presents in a child's designated chair. We had quite the discussion of pros and cons at Girl's Night Out last week. Guess what? They ALL work!
• Now that the kids are grown, I do Christmas bags instead of stockings. The girls always get fuzzy socks, lip gloss from Bath and Body works (you lick your lips and it is a breath freshner as well...I love it!), Raspberry Gel shaving cream, gift certificates and treats. The boys always get Beef Jerky and a car thing and gift certificates and treats.
• One of my favorite gifts was when Brandi and Ryan gave us a little Christmas tree with little envelopes tied all over it. In each envelope was written something they were thankful for that they had learned from us. There is no gift greater than gratitude.
• I'm looking forward to my children's entries this year in our Book of Small Plates and their Gratitude lists.
• I'm still waiting for my snowman.

Sunday in Dec.

I love Sundays. And Sundays during Christmas are the best. I'm sorry for all the young-uns out there that come home and cry on Sunday. I'm talking about moms, not kids. I remember those Sundays. It is tons of work to get everyone out the door, then wrestle the family all during sacrament. Clothes and hair matted with cheerios and sippy cup drips. Baby burps and urps. David was in the bishopric (the first time) when I had 4 and 5 little ones. I thought I might slit my wrists. You wonder if you will ever get spiritually filled again. You wonder if it is worth the hassle.

Yes. It is.

Then will come a day when you will love Sundays. When you can get up early and read the Sunday school lesson in peace. When you can actually wear clothes that can be dry cleaned. When you can wear hoop earrings without getting them caught in a little one's clothing or having the baby yank them out.

When you only eat Cheerios if you want to. And you don't even have to take diapers or a change of clothing to church. Unless you want to. And the only hair you have to comb is yours. And you don't even have to do that unless you want to!
Today was nice. My friend Debbie Stowell's granddaughter sang a beautiful musical number in Sacrament meeting. She is amazing. It was my off-day in the nursery which usually only happens when we are out of town. David is teaching the temple prep class and had asked me to come and share a few things. I absolutely love the two girls of the two couples that are getting ready to go to the temple and I have a special relationship with each of them....it was a neat, sweet interaction. And it has made me reflective again on what going to the temple meant to me. But here is the story I want to share.

This weekend I have been making grape jelly. I shared the story of the Christmas grapes the other day. So, I have been canning. Grape jelly is my "love can." Michael Wilcox makes a canning analogy in his book, "House of Glory" that I love and that I paraphrased with my own story.

In canning, the first thing you do is sterilize your bottles and lids, making sure they are perfectly clean. That is what we do when we go to the temple. We make sure we are temple/clean/worthy. After that, you prepare your fruit, making sure that it is ripe and lovely, not bruised and damaged. You pack your jar to the fullest, then pour sweet syrup over the top to the brim. THEN you put on the lid and put it in a boiling bath to seal. I don't know about you, but I've never sealed an empty jar. Brother Wilcox compares this to the temple sealing. He says, in essence, that when we go to the temple to be married, the Lord hands us an empty jar. He says, "Take this jar and fill it with good fruit- love, service, kindness, family, temple worship, goodness. Then when it is full and you've completed a good life, give it back to me and I will seal it for eternity." 

I love that parable. The Lord doesn't seal an empty jar.

Then I got to go to Relief Society for the second time this year! It was lovely. Kristy Moreton, whom I adore, gave a wonderful lesson about Joseph Smith. 

Tanner had gone to Logan for a missionary homecoming so dinner was just David, Cousin Casey and I. Afterwards, David drove me around so I could deliver gifts. It was cold and bitter but I wore reindeer antlers, which David couldn't believe (HOW many years have we been married???) but it made people laugh. It was a laughing day. While we were still delivering, David said he guessed we wouldn't be going to the Stake Christmas concert. I had forgotten about it! He didn't want to change again and was tired, but I decided that I am a big girl and I could go by myself. I'm so glad that I did. Each Ward in the Stake (8) sang one song. There wasn't an ordinary or traditional song or arrangement and every single song was beautiful. I couldn't even pick a favorite. It was awesome to see each Ward perform, and realize how many people I now know in each. Just a million people that I love. (It was good to see someone fully clothed. Inside joke. You know who you are.... ) The most wonderful part was the closing song "Oh Come All Ye Faithful." With all the Stake audience and wonderful organ accompaniment, I could hardly sing. "Oh come let us adore him. Oh come let us adore him. Christ, the Lord."

Heavenly.

I had a few more gifts to deliver. I ended up on a doorstep of a friend in our old Stake. She wanted me to come in for a minute. I really was in a hurry but I did anyway. I'm so glad. She had a broken heart and just needed to cry with a friend. She was having a hard time breathing in and out...you know that kind of pain. I remember that kind of pain. I was so glad that I didn't "hit and run." That I could mourn with her a while. I can't make things alright but I can listen and cry along with her. We have a long history together and I'm glad I went there tonight.

So, I'm still making my list. I'm trying to get everything possible done because my parents fly in on Wed. I'm so excited to see them. Mom and I will shop, we'll see movies and play Phase Ten. My dad will take all the boys out for breakfast one morning and another day he'll also cook us waffles with bacon in them. It is his speciality. I can't wait for everything!

My daughter shared something on her blog that I've been chuckling about all day. She was talking about Hallee (the attitude angel)" ...this is what she shared:

"The kids usually make their own beds each day, but I was changing their sheets and went ahead and made their beds. Hallee came running down the stairs a few minutes later shouting," mama, mama did you maka my bed"? I replied yes to which she stated "Oh mama, you are so, so, so, so, so, so , so, so , coming to my birthday party"!!! "

Christmas Fox Trot

Look who decided to pay us a visit. I haven't seen him for awhile. Wait! Stop! I'm home now. Come back! I'm cooking some grape jelly for you. I know you love grape jelly! Oh man!!!! (said in the Swiper the Fox voice.....)

Christmas Grapes-2004

Before we moved, right in the middle of remodeling this home and packing and trying to get Tanner outfitted for his mission, the grapes came on. I should have just let them go. I really hate to can and prided myself that I had given it up. But what do you do when you have purchased a property with a zillion fruit trees and vines? I had already done tons of plums and begged people to come and get the pears from the 50 (!) pear trees. So I was bottling grape juice, running to the new (old) home to meet with a subcontractor, running back to bottle more grapes, running back to meet with someone else. Finally, after about 6 hours of this, I had "had" it! I looked around my kitchen that was covered with grapes and vines and leaves and bottles and lids and stickiness everywhere and I totally lost it. My family didn't grow up on canned grape juice and I realized probably no one would drink it. I flipped off the stove and made a decision. I decided to run away. I was frustrated with moving and packing and remodeling an entire home, upstairs and down within 3 months, working with two different contractors, busy with my new Stake RS calling and life in general. I was tired. And then those darn grapes were glaring at me! I hopped in the car and just headed, somewhere, anywhere.

In the middle of my driving, my son-in-law called me. He asked what I was doing so I told him I was running away. He said, "Good, run away to this shop where they have great hardware for cabinets." Ryan was working for a cabinet company at the time and he was in charge of my kitchen and cabinets. He gave me the address of the hardware store and I turned the car around and headed there. I could not have known the tender mercy that would greet me.

As I pulled up to the old building, there painted on the cinder block walls was a quote from Galileo. Imagine how I felt when I read,

"The sun, with all those planets swirling around it and depending on it, still has time to smile on each bunch of grapes as though it had nothing else to do."

At first I laughed, then cried. I felt like it was a little God gift. A reminder to me that God is mindful of each of us. Of me.

In General Conference of that year, there was a quote used by Elder Miller in the Sat. morning session. It was a quote, actually, from CS Lewis that said:


"[God] has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. He does not have to deal with us in the mass. You are as much alone with Him as if you were the only being He had ever created. When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only man [or woman] in the world" (Mere Christianity [1943], 131).

And that is really the best Christmas story. That God lives! And loves us individually. What a wonderful thing to not just celebrate his birth but try and through our lives, celebrate his gift to us, His life.

So, each year around this time, I make grape jelly from my grape juice and share it with my neighbors. I still don't love canning, but I love the grapes. They speak to me in the language of God's love.

Spell check

You know, if I would proof read, I would realize that I'm a ninny. Does it sound like fingernails scratching on a chalkboard when I have written "collage"....not just once, but several times? Do I write like I never went to "collage" (college)? So sorry. My mind is always going faster than my fingers and they make the same mistakes all the time. like:

freinds.....like, Chirstmas.....some words always come out wrong. Some words my fingers just like to pull tricks on me. They like to humiliate me. Okay, I give.

C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S.

C-Christ’s birth. I’ve been pondering Mary’s feelings, the shunning she must have felt, the joy yet confusion. And the respect I feel for Joseph.

H-Home- There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays. I love our home and especially the feeling of love here. We’re blessed.

R-Ribbons and Paper adorn my storage room. I’ve set up a table and it is wrapping headquarters. I have tons of bags and cellophane is my wrap of choice (since I’m a terrible gift wrapper!) I’m hoping to get my neighbor/friend gifts out this weekend. I heart my neighbors! I heart my friends!

I-Icicles are hanging from our rooftop. I’m really wishing the sun will come out for a couple of days so Tanner and a buddy can hang Christmas lights. I’ve never had Christmas lights and I’m hoping this is the year! I will leave them on all year and turn them on WHENEVER I want. I don’t care who makes fun of me.

S- 'Shtik Naches' or 'piece of joy'. My friend, J., shared this Yiddish word with me today. She says that each day she is going to look more for the "Shtik Naches" in her life. Me too!

T-testimony. I’m so thankful that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I know He loves me, listens to me, mourns with me, comforts me, prompts me, challenges me, edifies me, encourages me, sees me for who I am and desires for me to be more. I love Him!

M-Merry Christmas. Instead of Happy Holidays. I remember in college, being mesmerized by Rod McKuen’s poetry. It is (was) looked upon as sappy but I loved it. One Christmas poem I remember is one that talked about "seeing so many Merry Xmas signs...with Christ taken out of Christmas." I don’t want to do that. I love Santa and snowmen and decorating and buying gifts and even getting gifts. But foremost, I do wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

A-angels. I don’t mind if they have wings or not. Wings help us to fly and I’m so thankful for all the angels in my life that have helped me fly when I have forgotten how.

S-Snow equals snowman. I’m still waiting.....