Bucket- Plant a Seed in Your Heart

Yesterday was Bucket at Erica Nordquist's.  I came home ready to burst- not just from the yummy lunch but our activity.  Erica had us come armed with our favorite scriptures or talks or quotes and showed us how to use our iphones to sink all our notes from our "paper scriptures"- that we don't want to let go of.  I came home on fire!

 

For lunch, Ericka duplicated the Turkey Sunflower Craisen salad from Kneader's with Poppy Seed Dressing

 

 

and made this decadent layered cake...

 

that she THEN kicked up another notch by drizzling with chocolate sauce!!!!!

 

 

Our cute favors with Easter candies in a terra cotta pot.

 

Then the activity-

 

For instance, I have several quotes that I love written on blank pages of my scriptures and notes in all the margins.  Here is one of the quotes-

 

 by Karl Haglund- When his brothers scoffed at Nephi for trying to build a ship in the wilderness, Nephi reminded them of all the witnesses they had received, and then he said that they were rebelling against the Lord because they “were past feeling, that [they] could not feel his words. …” (1 Ne. 17:45.) Most of us face the other problem: we are before feeling. We wonder why we hear the same things over and over again, until the day comes when we feel, not just hear, words.

Robert Frost said it another way:

“Our very life depends on everything’s

Recurring till we answer from within.

The thousandth time may prove the charm.”

(“Snow,” Mountain Interval.)

 

Now, when I go to 1 Ne.17:45 online (through Gospel Library)- there is a icon next to the scripture that tells me to go to my notes (one click) and I will have the quote.  You can highlight, underline, link, bookmark, tag, cut and paste and write notes here. Maybe even stand on your head.   It is amazing how wonderful innovative technology  can be!!!  I can even insert my journal selections into the notes.

 

 

Love these good women who inspire me to be better!  Erica- THANK YOU!!!!!

Faith

Today I had the opportunity to teach Relief Society- the lesson was on faith based on a talk by Pres. Uchtdorf called "Fourth Floor, Last Door" which he gave in the last Women's Conference.  I have loved this talk and really enjoyed studying it to share as well.  Here are a few of the thoughts that spoke to me:

 

Faith is a strong conviction about something we believe—a conviction so strong that it moves us to do things that we otherwise might not do. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”²

While this makes sense to believing people, it is often confusing to nonbelievers. They shake their heads and ask, “How can anyone be certain of what they cannot see?” To them, this is evidence of the irrationality of religion.

What they fail to understand is that there are more ways to see than with our eyes, more ways to feel than with our hands, more ways to hear than with our ears.

 

Just because we can’t hear something doesn’t mean there is nothing to hear. Two people can listen to the same message or read the same scripture, and one might feel the witness of the Spirit while the other doesn’t.

 

Perhaps better advice—for anyone who wants to increase faith—is to listen differently. The Apostle Paul encourages us to seek the voice that speaks to our spirit, not just to our ears. He taught, “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.”³

 

No, the purpose of faith is not to change God’s will but to empower us to act on God’s will. Faith is trust—trust that God sees what we cannot and that He knows what we do not.⁷ Sometimes, trusting our own vision and judgment is not enough.- I learned this as an airline pilot on days when I had to fly into thick fog or clouds and could see only a few feet ahead. I had to rely on the instruments that told me where I was and where I was headed. I had to listen to the voice of air traffic control. I had to follow the guidance of someone with more accurate information than I had. Someone whom I could not see but whom I had learned to trust. Someone who could see what I could not. I had to trust and act accordingly to arrive safely at my destination.

 

 

Faith means that we trust not only in God’s wisdom but that we trust also in His love. It means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does—every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds—is for our eternal happiness.⁸

 

 

With this kind of faith, though we may not understand why certain things happen or why certain prayers go unanswered, we can know that in the end everything will make sense. “All things [will] work together for good to them that love God.”

 

All will be made right. All will be well.

 

We can be certain that answers will come, and we may be confident that we will not only be content with the answers but we will also be overwhelmed by the grace, mercy, generosity, and love of our Heavenly Father for us, His children.

 

P.S.

I'm at my folks in Washington but I had this little quote/thought I used in my class I taught last week. 

One of my favorite speakers at a Stake Conference years ago was Larry Tippetts. He taught Institute for many years and I took classes from him years ago (before Michael Wilcox.) He began by posing the question from God we find in the scriptures, after Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, "Adam, where art thou?"


Now, God being God didn't have to ask where Adam was physically...the question was "Adam, where are you in your heart? Where is your loyalty? What path do you choose?" Bro. Tippetts said, " With God there are two directions "toward or away." He went on to talk about Christ being the only "living water" - that which truly fills. We try to fill ourselves with so much that won't sustain.


I need to remind myself of this often.

Boat On

Sunday when I taught Sunday School, I put these quotes up on the board since I began my lesson telling about just returning from Lake Powell.

When the tides of life turn against you and the current upsets your boat, don't waste those tears on what might have been, just lie on your back and float.

　
　

Only the guy who is rowing doesn't have time to rock the boat. Jean-Paul Sartre

　

Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.  Warren Buffett  
　

　
O God, thy sea is so great, and my boat is so small.


"Nodding the head does not row the boat" Irish Sayings quotes

　

We are the boat, we are the sea, I sail in you, you sail in me"  Lorre Wyatt


and then I found this quote that just made me laugh!-

"Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!"      Dan Castellaneta quotes  

We Are Not Found Wanting

We got home from Lake Powell in the wee hours Sunday morning exhausted then I had to get up early to prepare my Sunday School lesson (where I used to take at least 10 hours to prepare a lesson, I am now comfortable with 4-5)  I had been reading and thinking about the lesson all week at Powell and discussing it with my friends but I still wasn't ready...and although I was sooooo tired Sunday morning, I became so filled. I love the Lord.  Love the Sabbath.  Here is one of my favorite quotes from the lesson:

Alma 5:29

Jeffrey R. Holland said: we are bombarded with the message that on the world’s scale of things, we have been weighted in the balance of found wanting. (Daniel 5:27) But God does not work this way....

I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of god than another. I testify that He loves each of us-insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks. He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone..."robes...made white in the blood of the Lamb. May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize.

Working Smarter....

Last week I was teaching Mosiah 18-24 in the Book of Mormon in Sunday School.  In the scriptures, especially in the B of M, we find three kinds of people.  Those we meet who are good and remain good though whatever obstacles come to them.  Then there are bad people, who continue to make bad choices and never seem to change.  The 3rd group (which we talked about with several situations) are people who are wicked when we meet them, but through different events in their lives, become humbled and desirous to do what and become what God wants them to become.  I think many of us fall into the 3rd category.  I don't mean that we are necessarily wicked but that we aren't living the commandments the way we should.  Which is important.  


One group (Lemhi's people) finally turned to the Lord when their lives were so terriably in bondage and slavery (much like the Israelites in Moses' time.)  God seemed to be a last resort.  But through their hardship, they did repent but continued to use their own resources to get out of their predictament rather than turning to God.  The other group (Alma's people) desired to know what God wanted them to do and God actually prepared quite a miraculous way for them to escape.  Quite often I try and do things "my way" rather than to be prayerful and find out what God desires us to do.  We need to work "smarter" (God's way) rather than "harder" (our way.)


Scripture tells us that it is better to be humble (teachable) rather than being forced to be humble.


"No pain that we suffer, nor trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qulaities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire. " (to become more like our Heavenly parents.) (Edited from Pres. Kimball’s, Faith Precedes the Miracle-quote by Orson F. Whitney)

Lessons from Abraham

Today's Sunday School lesson was on Abraham and Sarai. And Hagar, the handmaiden. And Issac and the (almost) sacrifice (and why.) I wrote two poems about both of these events a million years ago.

Even though Abraham was given a blessing that his posterity would number greater than the sands of the earth and stars in the heaven, his wife Sarai (Sarah) was barren. I can't imagine the point when Sarai decides that in order for this prophecy to come forth, she should give her handmaiden, Hagar, to Abraham for posterity. I have tried to imagine myself in Sarai's position...and of course failed. I tried to imagine what she was doing that particular night....

THE BLESSING

Now Sarai Abram’s wife bare him no children. Genesis 16:1



She spends the night counting.

"One, two." That bright one there.

The heavens dark as slate, dark

as the eyes of the sloe-eyed

Egyptian woman, who was in Abram’s tent.

No, do not think of Hagar’s eyes,

glistening, bright, but watch

the stars. Try to number them.

She scolds her attention

and takes a deep breath. The scent

of jasmine and honeysuckle

fills her lungs, the same

scent that anoints the Egyptian’s

black plaited hair."


Please Lord," she cries,

adding, "three, four."

This will be counted

for righteousness, this child,

this posterity, her posterity,

through the loins

of Hagar, her handmaiden.



On bended knee, Sarai’s hands

comb the sand, make a fist.

The sand, numerous as the stars

in the heaven, flows

through her fingers.





Marilyn Darley Williams

Of course we know that in her old age, Sarai did bear a child (God always fulfills his promises) -and how she and Abraham must have loved Isaac!

Some would wonder why God would ask this sacrifice of Abraham. God already knew whether Abraham would be obedient or not, but as Truman Madsen once said, "maybe Abraham needed to learn something about himself." I think trials do that to us. We choose whether or not we will be victorious. And we needed that example of faith. I think the Bible is also filled with extremes of situations....so that they can be better examples to us in our lives. Would you be willing to give up everything to serve the Lord? Does doing what the Lord want us to do in life matter enough to us to make searching for that "purpose" a priority? Does ridicule from the world prevent us from changing our behaviors? Or bad habits? I remember hearing Michael Wilcox say that he imagines these great examples will stand for eternity. When we are making excuses to the Lord about the sacrifices we've had to make in this world, maybe the Lord will say, "Excuse me. Abraham, will you come over here for just a minute...." Or when trials have been too great ("Job, will you stand right here while this lady shares her troubles...) We have a lot to measure up to.





Elder Dallin H. Oaks said: “This story … shows the goodness of God in protecting Isaac and in providing a substitute so he would not have to die. Because of our sins and our mortality, we, like Isaac, are condemned to death. When all other hope is gone, our Father in Heaven provides the Lamb of God, and we are saved by his sacrifice”





OH ABRAHAM

I cannot look too closely
on that scene as you take Isaac
and then to the Mount depart
lest I look within myself
and find my own unwilling heart.


Marilyn Darley Williams


I think the scriptures are constantly reminding us, through metaphor, of Christ's sacrifice and atonement for us. In this marvelous example of Abraham, we see another who can somewhat understand the agony of the Father when his Son was crucified. Abraham. My hero.

Clean Hands

One of my favorite talks concerning the atonement is Elder Bednar's talk "Clean Hands and a Pure Heart." Oftentimes when we think of the atonement, and our part in it, we focus on forgiveness of sins. And, my, THAT is important. But Elder Bednar shares that having "no more disposition to do evil" is equally important....and replacing that with a desire to "do good."

Such a beautiful talk that I would recommend. Here is just a portion of it:


The gospel of Jesus Christ encompasses much more than avoiding, overcoming, and being cleansed from sin and the bad influences in our lives; it also essentially entails doing good, being good, and becoming better. Repenting of our sins and seeking forgiveness are spiritually necessary, and we must always do so. But remission of sin is not the only or even the ultimate purpose of the gospel. To have our hearts changed by the Holy Spirit such that "we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2), as did King Benjamin’s people, is the covenant responsibility we have accepted. This mighty change is not simply the result of working harder or developing greater individual discipline. Rather, it is the consequence of a fundamental change in our desires, our motives, and our natures made possible through the Atonement of Christ the Lord. Our spiritual purpose is to overcome both sin and the desire to sin, both the taint and the tyranny of sin.

Prophets throughout the ages have emphasized the dual requirements of (1) avoiding and overcoming bad and (2) doing good and becoming better. Consider the penetrating questions posed by the Psalmist:

"Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?

"He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully" (Psalm 24:3–4).


Let me suggest that hands are made clean through the process of putting off the natural man and by overcoming sin and the evil influences in our lives through the Savior’s Atonement. Hearts are purified as we receive His strengthening power to do good and become better. All of our worthy desires and good works, as necessary as they are, can never produce clean hands and a pure heart. It is the Atonement of Jesus Christ that provides both a cleansing and redeeming power that helps us to overcome sin and a sanctifying and strengthening power that helps us to become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us. David Bednar


Yesterday I was reading the paper and read an article about various Easter sermons that might be given fueled by the comments of Obama's minister, concerning racism among other things. One minister said that he was focusing his talk on the rock that blocked the tomb and that image has been in my mind every since. Today I will reflect on the rock (or rocks) that stand in my path, that block my opportunities to fully live again, that hinder my progress. When those rocks are removed from our lives, then more fully can we partake of being "born again"....of fulfilling all that the Father has for us.

Happy Easter! Don't you just love the Lord?

Thought of the Week-Creating Space

Remembering back over the week....a highlight was definitely the time spent with Cynthia....here is one of the centerpieces for the "Participa-Tator" evening.

Here is Papa Haydn's restaurant. I love their black striped chairs. I love their dessert case. It reminds me of France, except instead of individual pastries, they specialize in gourmet cakes and tortes and trifles. Each individual serving is enough to serve an entire family. A whole Ward party. I told Cynthia that we should just get one piece and share it. She gave me that "get real" look and said, "Oh, no, we have to have two different ones to share." That's one of the things I LOVE about her!

Here are the finished individual cake favors that we did for the Barnson wedding, which was last night.

They are filled with candy.....I love how they did the matching name plates. I loved being with David. It was a great date night. I've missed him. To sit at a table with friends and laugh and talk. We even danced. Well, one dance and it was commanded. It was an anniversary dance, which means all married people dance. Then the emcee calls out a number like 5 years and everyone who has been married 5 years or less then sits down. Then ten years, etc. The point was to get down to where only the grandparents were still dancing. And Jessica, the bride, thanked them for the wonderful example they have all set for them.

This is what I woke up to....although it was no surprise. It was a huge snowstorm when David and I were coming home from the wedding. I couldn't believe how much was dropping. I guess winter is on its last hurrah....only a few more days of official winter. I guess I am relieved that I changed our traditional Egg Hunt to a Spring Celebration scheduled for the end of April. Next Saturday, who in the family wants to, will participate in the neighborhood egg hunt that I've been a part of for years and years. It is huge...we used to do it in several yards in the neighborhood or cul-de-sac....now we do it in the gully at the amphitheater. It will work. I will survive.

I always tell my parents that we LOVE snow. We do LOVE snow. But now I am not saying it very convincingly.

My repairman came yesterday and fixed my washer and dryer so I spent the day doing laundry. I was so happy to do it, having both washer and dryer working correctly, I almost enjoyed laundry! That is unusual for me. Brendalyn and I also walked the nature trails for our 2-miles. I've conned her into if she doesn't achieve her exercise goals, I'm posting her picture in a bathing suit here as well!

Last week, before I left town, I got a darling note in the mail from my neighbor, Arlene. I've talked about her before...she's one of my hero's....one of my role models....one of my idols. I love her amazing optimism and her friendliness. I just plain love her. With the note, she also sent me this quote...which I have read and re-read. I love that it is by Henri Nouwen.....I've talked about him before. He is a Christian writer who was good friends with Mr. Rogers. And you know I love Mr. Rogers.

"When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness......makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matters." Henrie Nouwen

I loved this quote. I have someone close to me that is struggling within herself, fighting her own demons. This quote helps me realize that I don't have to make it better for her in trying to help her solve her problems. She just needs me to support her in the decisions that only she can make.

And since it is the Sabbath, can I just mention that it is so easy to read the scriptures when you make a goal of a chapter a day. Honestly, when you tell yourself that you can't go to bed...just like you wouldn't without saying your prayers, without reading. I haven't missed a day since January 1st and it has been such a joy to me. I actually prefer to read during the day when I'm wide awake and not hurrying. I'm in Mosiah 26....the exciting chapters of Alma and his people being led out of the grasp of the sleeping Lamanites. I have mentioned this before, but scripture reading, regular scripture reading brings power. Really, it does! So many times I've gone to the Lord and needed something "right now!" And I feel confident to ask. I feel confident that I will receive. There is power in obedience. And I am learning, learning, learning!

I'll end with another Nouwen quote that I love:

"I believe you can look at solitude, community, and ministry as three disciplines by which we create space for God. If we create space in which God can act and speak, something surprising will happen. You and I are called to these disciplines if we want to be disciples."--Henri J. M. Nouwen

Why I Write

Saturday morning I went over to Brendalyn's to help her make her scripture boxes for Valentine's. We made them just like I did the Sweetheart boxes that I gave directions to a few days ago, but we did the pull on the side, and dressed the box to look like scriptures. I also did enough for Aunt Pat for her Primary class since I knew she was coming later in the afternoon for us to go see a movie.



I do love the scriptures and I know that it sounds like I've been complaining (Isaiah) about some of them but today I start Jacob. Two years ago, Kristin Dahlquist Nelson and her husband, Jordan, decided to ask several friends and family to read and record several chapters of scripture for a Christmas gift for her parents (Charles and Zella.) I got Jacob. Of course I kept putting it off until the last minute (typical) until I was reading and recording the night before I needed to give it to them until about 2:00 in the morning. I've never asked Zella if that portion of the Bk of M. had snoring all through it. But when I got to the olive tree chapter, honestly, I got the giggles because it was like this tongue twister. I was getting my roots and olive trees and branches and bad fruit and good fruit all plowed up together. I had to keep doing it over and over. I actually did it so many times that I told God that I didn't think I would ever have to read Jacob again for years. So last year, when I read the Bk of M again (this will be my third year in a row that I will have completed it), when I got to Jacob 5, the memory still fresh, I glanced at God and he nodded so I skipped it. I'm just kidding about the God nodding part. But I did skip it. But this week I won't. This week I won't be reading it at 1:30 in the morning. This week I will be wide awake, keeping my branches and fruit separated. This week I'll drag out the anthologies and learn something.

Speaking of anthologies, yesterday for David's Valentine, I gave him a new Bk of M anthology by Randall Chase. Randy was our bishop in our first ward when we moved to Sandy. It will be fun to get his take on things. Today David's gift is a lemon meringue pie that I'll make after church. I don't do pies so this is really a love gift. 

I read a book the past few days. It was one I picked up at Deseret Book in the bargain bin a while ago. It is called "Letters For Emily" by Camron Wright. It was a quick read, a lovely little book. Perfect for a book club. Without giving too much away, it is the story of a grandfather who is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. He adores his granddaughter who often comes and plays checkers with him. He knows that she is young enough to forget him or that she will only remember him as an old man- one who is a little crazy and sick. So he writes letters and poems to her.....and through those letters, his entire family is touched.

I think one of the reasons why I loved this book is for the same reason I write this journal. I write for two reasons. First, to validate my life. I live. I laugh and cry and love and have sorrow. It is a record of my journey. But mainly I write for my great, great, great-grandchildren. My posterity who will never know me or our family personally. Maybe I am writing for my grandchildren or great-grandchildren who will know me in the last stages of my life, an entirely different person that I am now, or was when I was thirty or a teenager. I want to reach across the veil and talk to them. I want to make them laugh (or roll their eyes.) I want them to learn from mistakes I've made. I want them to know about their family, about our life. And especially I want them to know that I know God. That He is ever present in my life, our families lives. I hope some of the things that I share, if not through this, but mostly in my Book of Small Plates that I keep, will touch them spiritually and perhaps in the time of their need.

Of course, one of my favorite Conference talks in Oct. 2007 was one of Elder Eyring's. I want to share one part of that talk:

"I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.” I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it.

I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.

More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.

The years have gone by. My boys are grown men. And now and then one of them will surprise me by saying, “Dad, I was reading in my copy of the journal about when . . . ” and then he will tell me about how reading of what happened long ago helped him notice something God had done in his day."

Valentine's Challenge- Are YOU on board?

I wanted to share a wonderful story that Annette B. shared at Bucket the other day, a story that she used when she spoke at BYU Women’s Conference (she speaks there a lot), concerning Sister (Francis) Monson. She was told this story by Ann Dibb, the Monson’s daughter, the one I spoke with at BYU as well. Tender story.

Sister Monson’s health hasn’t been good for a few years. Once, a few years ago, she had both of her knees replaced and was in bed, recovering. Ann regularly (still does) goes to the house to take care of her. President Monson had a trip scheduled the next day and Ann was packing his suitcase. (I asked at Bucket group how many women pack their husband’s suitcases. Only one did. I think it was a generational thing.) As Ann started to fold President Monson’s shirts, Sister Monson said, "Ann, bring those shirts to me so I can fold them." When Ann protested, Sister Monson said, "I have been folding my husband’s shirts for over forty years. It is my job. I know exactly how he likes them."

A sweet example of service. I don't know if I shared this story or not, but something happened at Bucket in December that really touched me. Gayle Miller is this amazing soft-spoken woman. Her husband, Larry, is a prominent businessman in Salt Lake City. He owns many car dealerships, many, many businesses, including the Jazz professional basketball team and on and on and on. He is a busy man. Gayle shared that December is a particularly stressful time for her husband. People usually don't buy cars in December and year end for any business is hectic. She said that her husband usually is too stressed to really get into the Christmas spirit. So, this year, she decided to do something about it. In Gayle's perfect quiet way, she decided to "serve" her husband, by reading a Christmas story to him each night. Night after night, she'd share a story that she had selected. It worked. She reported how special this time was for just the two of them...an activity that perhaps I wouldn't think of sharing with my husband. But I was so impressed with Gayle's concern and attention to making her husband's life less stressful. I was touched by her example.

Which made me start thinking of serving my husband. Valentine’s is a week a way. If I started today, I could do a week’s service to this wonderful man that I love. Not that we don’t all serve our spouses, but this could be a unique way of looking for opportunities to make his life more enjoyable. A special Valentine. My mind is already clicking...

I picked up Cathy for religion class yesterday. This was her first time. We are in 3 Nephi, chapter 15. The first day that Christ teaches the people, he teaches the Beatitudes. They are that important. I have loved realizing that importance as I’ve studied and reflected on those behaviors that elevate us. After a day of teaching and blessing and healing, Christ sees that the people are weary and he wants them fresh and awake because the next day he is going to teach them from Isaiah! And you NEED TO BE AWAKE for Isaiah. We studied many things that I won’t share here, but one main idea that is good to focus on, especially with the elections (drive me crazy) and the conditions of the world, is found in Mica, in Isaiah, in 3rd Nephi, in Mormon, in the D & C....it is described many ways. It is as a lion tearing through a herd of sheep, a huge boulder crashing down a mountainside, an oxen churning the fields, etc. It says that God’s church will not be stopped. No matter what is happening in the world to bring us heartache or shake our foundation, the gospel will continue to move forward. God is in charge. He is all powerful. And then there was one image that I loved. I don’t have my notes here with me so I can’t give the perfect reference but all those previous images are of destruction and power. But another scripture says, "Can you stop the rain? No, and the gospel will settle over the world like dew." Morning dew refreshes the earth and gives beauty to the world. Now THAT is the gospel.....

Last night David and I and Kirk and Cathy went to the BYU basketball game. I haven’t been to one in YEARS and David had some meeting at the hospital and didn’t get home very early so by the time we drove to Provo, we got there almost at half time. Can I just say, the perfect time length for me to watch a game! (Sorry, Darby!) By the time Cathy and I stood in line for popcorn and treats, the game was almost over! I had asked David why we were going to the ball game (since we usually don’t) and he said, "Well, Kirk and I have been really struggling to figure out how we could top last year's Valentine surprise for you girls. (see Belated Valentines ) And we thought THIS would be it!" Right! Then they said that they had arranged for everyone to stand up at the same time and clap for us and say, "I love you! I love you!" (B.Y.U! B.Y.U!) Funny! These guys crack me up!

Valentines and a Greater Love

Yesterday was such a great day. My friend, Debra Simons, had a card making class at her home. Again, Debra lives in my old Stake and the group of women there were so darling. Only two I hadn't met before. The cards were so cute...I'll see if I can add pictures here. I loved it so much, I went back last night so I could complete my Valentine's cards for Bucket group next week! (And I'm not showing the one I made for Bucket group....sorry Sheron !)

This cute one on the left is fun. You pull on the ribbons on top, and out comes your Valentine treat!



From there I called Cathy to see if she could go to Bro. Wilcox's class and if she could, maybe we needed to grab a bite to eat before, since, well it WAS lunchtime and we DO have to eat. She called back and said that she couldn't go to class but she could go to lunch, so we did. We had a lot to catch up on since we hadn't seen each other since lunch the day before!!! We're SUCH a bad influence on each other!

Then.....I got home from class to find a box dancing on my porch. A birthday box from friend, Sophia. She's a dear blogging friend. She's an insane blogging friend. Besides a box full of goodies, on top was this embellished brown paper bag. We have this joke about my never wanting to "meet" her....or if we did, we could just wear brown paper bags over our heads. It is an ongoing conversation. So, she sent me a bag with a hairbow. The bag's eyes were so high, I couldn't see out of them to take a picture. So I had to manufacture eyeballs so you could see the full effect. Don't you love friends that make you laugh?!!! Sophia, among other things, sent me her killer brownies. The brownie recipe that all her friends want but she won't share. She said the recipe will be printed on her funeral program. After having one, I told her maybe that wasn't a good idea to taunt people like that. Maybe there was a contract out on her life as we speak! Just to get the recipe......


Then Bro. Wilcox's class. I am loving this so much, as always, and don't want to overload my thoughts here but I just have so many. We have been studying in 3 Nephi, the beatitudes or the Sermon at Bountiful. What I have thought about consistently was, we tend to dismiss the power of the Sermon on the Mount because we read it so much, it seems to lose punch with familiarity. We think we know "what" is being said. But I have realized that I haven't really "known" in this manner before and I will never think of them the same.

When Christ came, he brought the higher law. Every thing he teaches us in the beatitudes is to teach us how to live on a higher plane. We know that- not only do we not kill (Telestial), or fight (Terrestial) but we don't have unkind thoughts about each other either (Celestial.)

We may think that is impossible but I don't think it is. If anyone has read this journal from its beginnings or knows me personally, you will know that "forgiveness" and the atonement are really big issues with me. (see OFFENSE ) I know that there is power and help in "getting over" hurts and even those who have hurt us. I also think forgiveness is the essence of the atonement.

One of the beatitudes says, "As you forgive others, you will be forgiven." Another, 3 Nephi 12:43,44 - "And behold it is written also, that thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy; -44: But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you. (that you may be children of your Father....who has shown us the proper behavior (paraphrased))

In the last verse of this chapter, it says, "Therefore, I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." In the New Testament, the translation for "perfect" is merciful. So, this scripture that we tend to beat ourselves up with (being perfect) really means extending mercy as our Father in Heaven would. Mercy is not only the gift the Father gives to us, but we are expected to give mercy without limits to others, including our enemies, including those we don't like. It is also a gift we don't receive unless we give it to others.

Sunday I was in the foyer at Church. There was a discussion going on about the topic of the RS/Priesthood lessons of anger. I wasn't in the class since I am in the Sunbeams but I was intrigued with the conversation. Two women that I adore were having an animated discussion about people in their lives (extended family) that they just didn't like....and were talking about how to deal with them in their lives. I think their conclusion is that you "just stay away from them because they bug you." I wasn't in the class to know all the discussion but even so, I don't think I would have come to that conclusion. Verse 44 says "....love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, that use you, that persecute you." That doesn't sound like you "just stay away...." It means we have the wonderful opportunity in our lives to extend mercy. That means we get on our knees and take our issues to the Lord, not praying to hear what we want to hear or for justification in feeling the way we feel. It means we "pray" for those people, we pray for a softening of hearts, of actions, of interactions. It doesn't mean that we have to (as Bro. Wilcox says) "have them over for weekly BBQs" but the most important thing here is our "thoughts." God wants to elevate us, take us to a higher plane, so although we are "bugged" or don't like someone, we realize that we really can, and are expected to, pray for others, that they may have a softening of heart or action. Think the good of others. Try and walk in their moccasins and pray for understanding. Then, most importantly, pray that "we" have a change of heart. That we extend mercy as shown by the Father. As we want mercy extended to us. "Perfection" isn't something that we master, as in never doing a naughty thing. Perfection is the concept of mercy....of truly controlling our thought process in loving without boundaries, in forgiving others (and receiving the gift of our own forgiveness)- in elevating our hearts and thoughts to a higher plane. Later it says, 14:2- "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." I don't think forgiveness and making judgements about others and "not liking" others is a small matter. I think it "is" the deal. I know it is possible. Forgiveness is the most amazing gift, the most amazing opportunity. I have literally prayed "forever" about certain people or situations....and felt the burden lift from me as I gave up the resentment or offense. I know I can pray for love instead of annoyance. We may not change another's heart (although I think it can) but the most important thing is that "our" hearts are changed. We become a part of this great gift of mercy......

Letter to a Friend

(a friend wrote to me asking about Bro. Wilcox's class. Since I am still sick and miserable I'll just share my reply to her.)

I thought of so you many times while I was listening (to Bro. Wilcox.) I could have gone on and on and on about the things buzzing through my head. I didn't realize that after the darkness, it was probably A YEAR before he appeared to them at the temple. Some say 40 days, most say a year. Time to get the roads cleaned up, the dead buried, time to make sense of things. Many are gathered at the temple. Coincidence? Probably not. Families are gathered to Stake Conference. It would have been a GREAT coincidence that all of the chosen twelve would be there AT THE SAME time.

Again, they "hear the voice" but don't understand. Like how you didn't understand. He goes on to say that Christ isn't a "Well, you blew your chance. I was trying to send you a message and you didn't get it, so there!" No, he gives us EVERY chance because he really WANTS us to hear the message. CS Lewis said that we worship a God that will give us a million chances to do good. He is a million-chance God.

So, your message will come back to you. Maybe it already has. Don't you just love the Lord. Yesterday was busy, busy, busy. I had Valene AND Debbie here cooking crepes and I was scurrying around to get chairs and everything ready. I had moved the kitchen table into the dining area (really where you walk into the house!) so I could put up more chairs. Every time I scurried into that room and saw the table, I cringed because I knew I needed to go downstairs and DIG around and remember where I had put the matching table cloth. I didn't have the time. And as I am thinking the thought, I look over and the table cloth is sitting on my bench before the fire. Just folded, sitting there. Waiting for me.


So, Bro. Wilcox is on Wed. afternoons, from 1:30 to 3:00 out in a Draper Stake. Go to the light in Draper where a McDonalds is on one corner, kitty-corner (kiddy-corner? What is that word?) Diagonally across the street is the new Joanne's. Turn South and go to the end of the street until you see the Stake center on the left. You'll see a million cars. There is plenty of parking in the back of the church. About 500-600 people attend and plan to sit in the overflow because the little old people (me in a couple of years) go, at least 1 hour early, to stake out THEIR place! VERY territorial. I am really stressing TERRITORIAL! I don't want you to get in the cross-fire. It doesn't matter that there are a million (okay, little ol'exaggeration from little ol' exaggerator me!), because you just sit in your place and open your scriptures and put blinders on the sides of your eyes and focus in on the Spirit. And then you just open up your heart and you are filled and your mind is just bursting with insight and love and adoration even though you are looking at the time (because you ARE attention deficit even though you love the Spirit) (and when I am prophet, not any time soon, Stake Conference will be 1 1/2 hours instead of 2 for people that have ants in their pants like someone you know....and my spirit turns off after 1 1/2 of WONDERFUL insight) so that last 1/2 drags for JUST a few minutes and you think to yourself, "Maybe I can get up and get a drink? Maybe I can go jog around the halls for a few minutes to get my brain in gear again." But I don't jog. And I know that the water I need for my thirst is just ready to be handed to me. So I fight all the urges to bolt. I fight all the antsy pants. I fight all the squirming and tummy growling and eyeball twitching my body does to fight the carnal man. Woman.

And THEN, it happens. The music starts real quietly. Like angels (no, they ARE angels) just doing their little hum in the background. They are great backup singers. And the lights starting dimming up (actually the polar opposite of dimming down. I may have made up that term!) And the Spirit says to me, "Marilyn? Marilyn? Are you awake? Are you in there...your eyes are looking a little glazed. Put another stick of gum in your mouth....your sugar level seems to be dropping...but I have something to tell YOU!"

Yep, just me. Personally. I know he is talking to everyone else individually but he just wants ME NOW to pay attention to Him, NOW!

And then it comes......

You want to burst. The clock strikes twelve (well, actually 3:00) and you say to yourself, "Yourself, I can't believe how time flies!"

And then it is over. And you put away your folding chair. Then you put away a couple of others so you can be a good person. And feel good about contributing ANYTHING! And the tuition would normally be $20 a semester. But because Bro. Wilcox doesn't do this under the CES umbrella (which means he can say things like, "You know, sometimes this church is a little odd......") And we laugh because really, we are the oddest bunch! So, rather than giving money to him, who needs it desperately, I'm sure, he asks that you maybe contribute to the Perpetual Education fund or the Humanitarian Fund. So people who are even poorer than him can be blessed. Like we are blessed. And of course, we see immediately how uneven that distribution is.....

My husband just came home early (to go roping) and said he went to the bank to transfer money and we have used more money than he thought we should have by now since payday isn't for a few more days. So then I gave him a very animated description of just where in the world all the excess money went. And by then end of it, he was shaking his head and laughing and I said, "You are sorry you asked, aren't you?!" And he was.

Have a really good day. I already have since

1) I'm sick. Barking cough and sore throat. But today is a good day to just stay in my jammies and shut the world out. It is 3:30 and I haven't even bathed. I'm still in my robe and my hair that sticks out anyway REALLY sticks out CRAZY, (imagine Nick Nolte's mug shot) and that is how I look

2) My husband came home at 3:30 and found me this way. We had a financial discussion and, even looking this way, I made him laugh.

3) I heard from you. Perhaps I already have written my journal entry for tomorrow. Sorry about that. One of my New Year's goals was to read at least a chapter of scriptures a day and I am loving being obedient. You know I LOVE them and study them but then I can go for days without cracking them and I HATE that. I feel spiritually unprepared. When I am prepared (temple, scriptures, prayer), I feel so strong and like I can ask anything. And like the tablecloth, I didn't even have to ASK! I love confidence in the Lord. I am also drinking a lot more water. Another goal. I'm not a camel yet but today when I glanced into the mirror, I saw a resemblance to a few other zoo animals. It was not a pretty sight. But I still made my husband laugh.

4) And I heard from you! And I'm thinking about your message. Messages. Hope you're opening envelopes! M.