Monday, March 21, 2016
Life Without
A few days before Mom died, my brother called to tell me that my mom woke up in the middle of the night (at home) with a nightmare that my dad had quit breathing. She woke him up, and he assured her he was fine. But the nightmare startled her awake so she finally got up and headed to their office. It was there that she passed out....and when dad found her, she was unresponsive. Paramedics were called and they were able to revive her with CPR- unfortunately breaking many of her ribs. From there, of course, she was admitted to the hospital. My brother called the next afternoon and said he didn't think she was going to make it. David was up skiing with Addi and Hallee...and I was a mess! I was able to get us booked on a flight that evening. As soon as we boarded, I got a text from son Ryan, saying he and Brandi and Tanner were on the flight after us. (actually, through Ryan's generosity, he made sure everyone could go. Ben got there just after mom passed.) No way were they going to stay at home. We got to the hospital about 9- and mom was coherent. She said, "I knew you would come." Of course. The kids arrived a couple of hours later and we had several hours to talk and bond and express our love for each other. It was beautiful and tender and heart-wrenching. She had her humor until the end...even shaking her finger at dad and giving him the "what for." It was about 1 or 2 when everyone left except for Cher and I. Mom was in pain with the broken ribs. Coughing was horrible. She had a heart pillow to hold to her chest and we'd take turns pressing on it to help when she coughed. But did I mention that she had all those "in-between times" when it was calm and filled with love. She actually slept well during the night....and in the morning, everyone in the family was changing positions and shifts. I went to the motel to sleep for a few hours and Brandi and Tanner were with Mom so my brother could go get my father. We had just barely gotten to the hospital- scattered on various floors when she passed. It was quiet and peaceful....with just Brandi and Tanner there. It about broke my heart....but oh, how I love her!!! She had been so thrilled to see the kids and we got to say our good-byes.
Oh sigh....
My family all went home that night or the next day and I had an open end ticket to be with my dad and to help figure out the arrangements. My brother Gary and SIL Cher have just been over the top wonderful in mom's care and dad's as well. I will be eternally grateful.
We buried my mom a week and a half later- in Rupert, Idaho....next to her beloved brother, Denver with all her and dad's family nearby. It was a titch difficult planning a funeral in a place I'm not familiar with- without my support group but my family and cousins all stepped up to the plate in such wonderful ways. It was a day filled with love and joyful memories. My mom was really a beloved aunt because as everyone said, she was just so "nice and caring and fun." I'm so proud to be her daughter.
Dad was not able to be there since he can't breathe at that altitude. My niece had turned a headshot of my mom into a beautiful poster and since we had a closed casket (I'm anti-open casket. In fact, I never saw my mom in the casket...)- I was able to just focus on her smile.
At the funeral- Brandi gave the life sketch and a granddaughter's tribute. My nephew, Jason, gave a grandson's tribute. Marci sang "Nearer My God to Thee (oh, she sings like an angel) and my cousin Deanna (all the way from Arizona) played and accompanied. I spoke and then Deanna's siblings sang In The Garden- my mother's request. It was lovely. We felt loved and comforted.
I've always worried about the graveside. After son Ryan dedicated the grave, I had picked up wonderful cookies from Smart cookie and the grands passed them out. I was trying to stay busy visiting so I wouldn't concentrate on the "finality" of mom's resting place. I could tell I was getting anxious.
But then, the "perfect" ice breaker developed. My grand, Rylee came up to me. She said, "Grandma, do you know your dress is inside out?!!!" It was!!!! (I did have a longer jacket on but still!) I burst out laughing and I really think I heard my mom snort in her casket.
She just would have loved it!!!!
Hugs, mom, forever and ever. Forever. I gave you the last laugh. Tag- you're it!
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Mom
June 17, 1928- Feb. 24, 2016
There is an old saying “It rained cats and dogs and squalling babies...” On such a night Mary “Maxine” James was born on a small farm near Benedict, Kansas. The storm was so bad, the doctor after traveling though blinding rain, thunder, lightening and very muddy, bumpy roads to get to their home apparently had to take some of his own medicine after such a terrorizing ride.
Maxine's parents, George Ernest James and Nancy Mary Cruzan Sparks had both been married before and respectively lost their spouses in the flu epidemic of 1918. They combined their 10 children and added 5 more (one dying at birth) to their herd.
In 1943, Maxine's family moved to Rupert, Idaho. Maxine excelled in school, was an honor student, cheerleader, twirled a baton and loved music. She sang at many occasions with her young siblings. She was employed in high school by the telephone company as an operator after being recommended by her school principal. World War II broke out and Maxine took it upon herself to write to every hometown boy in the service. She married one of these boys, Leo “Keith” Darley, upon his return, after an eventful courtship. They were married on August 11, 1947 and celebrated 68 years of marriage this past August. There were blessed by two children- Gary Keith Darley (Cher- residing in Battleground, Washington) and Marilyn Darley Williams (David- Sandy, Utah.) In 1955, the Darley family moved to Moses Lake, Washington where they lived and called home for almost 50 years.
Maxine workd at Pacific Northwest Bell and served as office manager of the business office for many years. She loved to bowl in leagues, made Swiss steak to perfection and was a wonderful wife, mother and friend. In 2005, she and Keith sold their home and rental porperty in Cascade Valley to move to Battleground, Wa. to be near their son and family. Since 2009, she and Keith have lived in the beautiful Van Mall Retirement Community in Vancouver, Wa. where they have made wonderful friends. Maxine instructed WII bowling, enjoyed their many friends dining, playing cards, bowling and in the Red Hats Society- where as the Queen Bee- she orgnized lunches, outings and tea parties. Each morning for years, she and Keith would play Skipbo to determine who would be the boss for the day. As parents, they couldn't have been more loving, caring, hardworking and just plain fun. Her children and grandchildren adore her!
Maxine died February 24, 2016 and is survived by her husband, Keith, both children, spouses, 7 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren. She had faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and felt confidence in her return to Him.
A memorial service and internment will be March 5 at 2:30 at the Morrison Payne Mortuary in Rupert, Idaho. Visitation will be 1 hour before.
There is an old saying “It rained cats and dogs and squalling babies...” On such a night Mary “Maxine” James was born on a small farm near Benedict, Kansas. The storm was so bad, the doctor after traveling though blinding rain, thunder, lightening and very muddy, bumpy roads to get to their home apparently had to take some of his own medicine after such a terrorizing ride.
Maxine's parents, George Ernest James and Nancy Mary Cruzan Sparks had both been married before and respectively lost their spouses in the flu epidemic of 1918. They combined their 10 children and added 5 more (one dying at birth) to their herd.
In 1943, Maxine's family moved to Rupert, Idaho. Maxine excelled in school, was an honor student, cheerleader, twirled a baton and loved music. She sang at many occasions with her young siblings. She was employed in high school by the telephone company as an operator after being recommended by her school principal. World War II broke out and Maxine took it upon herself to write to every hometown boy in the service. She married one of these boys, Leo “Keith” Darley, upon his return, after an eventful courtship. They were married on August 11, 1947 and celebrated 68 years of marriage this past August. There were blessed by two children- Gary Keith Darley (Cher- residing in Battleground, Washington) and Marilyn Darley Williams (David- Sandy, Utah.) In 1955, the Darley family moved to Moses Lake, Washington where they lived and called home for almost 50 years.
Maxine workd at Pacific Northwest Bell and served as office manager of the business office for many years. She loved to bowl in leagues, made Swiss steak to perfection and was a wonderful wife, mother and friend. In 2005, she and Keith sold their home and rental porperty in Cascade Valley to move to Battleground, Wa. to be near their son and family. Since 2009, she and Keith have lived in the beautiful Van Mall Retirement Community in Vancouver, Wa. where they have made wonderful friends. Maxine instructed WII bowling, enjoyed their many friends dining, playing cards, bowling and in the Red Hats Society- where as the Queen Bee- she orgnized lunches, outings and tea parties. Each morning for years, she and Keith would play Skipbo to determine who would be the boss for the day. As parents, they couldn't have been more loving, caring, hardworking and just plain fun. Her children and grandchildren adore her!
Maxine died February 24, 2016 and is survived by her husband, Keith, both children, spouses, 7 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren. She had faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and felt confidence in her return to Him.
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