Breaking Up Is Hard To Do....

I'm not a great "ender." I am sentimental and when I love, I love! I get attached to "things." Emotionally attached. I know everyone (including my kiddos) give all their stuffed animals names and have to make sure they are all in bed at night so no one gets their feelings hurt. But, for those of you who have read my entries for the past 10 months, you know "sometimes" I go over the edge. Remember when I shared sometimes in the grocery store I just have to pick the homeliest lettuce and buy it because I don't want it to feel bad it is never chosen? I know that is over the edge but don't you think because I KNOW it, that I'm not too loony? 

So, 2007 is coming to a close. It is always emotional for me. Maybe it is because I'm plum worn out from the holidays (plum?) (which I am) but I sense another door closing. When you are little, time crawls. At my age I feel like it is exploding! I hardly get used to writing the correct year on my checks and it is time to change. Maybe it helps (or hinders) because we are moving out of the "check writing" age. 

Today I am saying good-bye to an old friend. She's not someone I flash around a lot (never) but she is the nearest and dearest to me. Without her I would fall apart. She is what keeps me normal (I use that term loosely) and slightly together and I owe her a lot! Here is what she looks like-

From the outside, she looks a little fru-fru. She's giggling and childlike. She looks like she would rather go out to lunch with girlfriends than fold her socks. She looks like she could read a book while dishes lounge in the sink. But looks are deceiving. She is a work horse inside.

I honestly can't function without her! Some might call her a calendar or day planner, but I call her my brain. I LOVE her! I can't live without her! And now she's saying it is time to retire! David's secretary of 20 plus years retired about 2 years ago and I've SEEN chaos! Each year when I get a....oh, I hate to say the word "calendar"....maybe I'll just say, "Each year when I get a new friend with amazing secretarial skills....", I resolve that I will only write in her with a black fine-point sharpie. I will use a ruler so that my penmanship looks exceptional. My great-great-greats will think I'm classic. I'm organized. I'm a perfectionist.

Then reality hits. Someday, my great-great-greats will find her (because "she" is a FRIEND, she'll never get thrown away!) and look inside and be horrified. "What's all this scrawling and smearing and stuff crossed-out and all this clutter? And is that salsa smeared across one page? A cherry chocolate?" They may be thinking that great-great-great grandma had a screw loose. That she was a mess. That she was a scatterbrain, a smearer, a doodler and, yes, (leaping lizards!) -a food dribbler. And they'd be right.

Calendar girl, I love you (each and every day of the year...think Neil Sedaka....)

I'm going to miss you so much. I went shopping for your little sister. I couldn't find her. This is what I found.

I'm a little scared of her. She looks intimidating. She looks like she doesn't know how to laugh. She reminds me of a nanny with attitude. She looks like she could bark commands in German. She looks like she might like to rap me on the knuckles. And say things like "Don't slouch!!!"

I'll try to sit up taller this year. I'll try really hard not to write and dribble my food. I will even resolve to write with only a black fine-tip sharpie. But you and I know it will never last.